Carrie had been waiting seven years after her divorce to find love again, and she wanted to learn how to bring in a man faster.
She had tried three online dating sites, a couple of different apps, MANY blind dates from well-meaning friends and random dates from men she met while out and about living her life.
She was burned out on dating by the time she came to me, questioning if love existed for her, and ready to throw in the towel.
She asked me the NUMBER ONE question I get asked by almost all of my clients and what I am going to share with you today…
How can I bring a man in faster?
1) I have said it before and I will say it again many more times
The number one thing that women do to bring a man in quickly is to commit to finding love. NO MATTER WHAT. This means that you make a commitment that your dream will happen. And no matter how many emails you send that get rejected or how many awful online dates you go on or how many lonely Ben and Jerry nights there are, you never give up.
You commit to yourself that you will find love and you go to any lengths to have it. I went through years of struggle. I spent thousands of dollars devoted to my search to bring a man in and let me tell you, when my husband and I held hands on our wedding day and both of us were crying as we committed our lives to each other, NONE of it mattered. Not one bit. Stay in the fight and commit to your vision. No one can or will do this for you.
2) Know who you are and what you want
I knew I wanted to bring in a man who would work on himself forever. Why? Because I have been a counselor and a coach for years and improving myself at all times is a high priority for me. I was in alignment with that, and I attracted a man who does work on himself. We are in alignment.
I am surrounded by men who are in alignment. Twice at the pool last week, I was surrounded by men reading self-development books. I was in a coffee shop yesterday and a married man (who was with his wife) struck up a conversation with me about how he goes to Tony Robbins events every chance he can get. Whoever you are, you attract. Like attracts like. Are you a match for your ideal man?
Also, do you believe that you are worthy of your ideal man? I honestly do not know how many women I have worked with who want this “high quality” man, but – when they dive in deep, the discrepancy is that they deeply don’t feel worthy of him. If you are clear on what you want and it’s not showing up, you might want to ask: do I truly feel worthy of a partner who has everything I want?
3) Connect to the essence of love everywhere you go
You cannot manifest that which you lack. Women who struggle finding love do not realize that they are love and that they are surrounded by love. You can connect to the feeling of love inside of you now and to everyone around you. Who loves you already? Is it your pet? Your friends? Where and when do you feel love, and how can you beef this up so you feel constantly and consistently connected to love?
4) Become completely comfortable with men
I meet a lot of women who are not comfortable with men. They do not trust them, they do not know how to flirt, they do not know what to say in the online world, and they have no idea what to do when a man acts like a man.
Do you understand why men do the things they do? Do you understand how your energy shows up around men? Do you know how to be yourself and draw in a man for being who you are? When a guy doesn’t text you back for a few hours or even a few days, do you freak out? Do you obsess over your phone and even send him texts to see what’s going on? Or do you relax and go about your life, understanding how men work?
I had no clue how to do any of that. I had to hire a professional relationship coach. I have no shame in that, as it was part of investing in myself and my commitment to love. She taught me all of that and I met my husband in less than three months. He proposed in five months because he wanted me off the market that much!
5) Know that YOU are the catch.
Know that any man would be lucky to be with you. It’s about shifting your energy and feeling into the space that HE would be winning if he were with you. Knowing this and believing this is a game-changer that completely changes the energy you carry in the online world, in all of your communications – and definitely when you are out there with a man. Your confidence soars through the clouds, and he wants you off the market.
6) Forgive all men
Yep, I said it. Please know I do NOT mean to accept abuse or unacceptable behavior back into your life. I simply mean to forgive all men and release them from your life. We don’t realize how hard it is to love men and really enjoy being with them, feel confident and cherished by them when we are holding onto old energy around a man who really harmed us. It is so hard to really feel safe with a man and completely trust him with all of us when all of our cells are screaming reminders about what can happen if we let go. So, forgive all of those men. Let them go and rise up in love!
7) The hardest part, release all attachments
Release any and all attachments and go on your dates and have fun. See your dates differently. Instead of going on every date asking if he is the one, go and ask “am I having fun?”. “How do I feel on this date?” “How do I feel around this man?” And take the pressure off. If it is a horrible date, then appreciate the rest. Appreciate the food, the music, the wait staff, anything you can, because nothing brings your man in faster than gratitude and appreciation! And remember, YOU are the catch.
A high-quality woman knows she is the catch and any man would be lucky to have her. She also knows she has her pick of great men and won’t be on the market long. ?
Let’s get you off the market! Book a complimentary call with me today and let’s see where you are stuck so that I can help you make that dynamic shift.